Updated: Nov 18, 2018
You’d be surprised at the number of times I get asked the question: “How do I become more confident?”. I get asked this very question: via social media, in emails and even in person. There's always someone that wants to know what my secret is and how they can also develop a certain level of confidence in their life.
Now, while the question itself is not the problem, it does make me feel slightly uncomfortable when I am expected to answer it as I never really know how to. This is simply because I recognise that ‘confidence’ is immeasurable, and while someone may appear confident, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they actually are. For example, to some I might be confident because I am able to stand on stage and speak to an audience, or perhaps because I post up videos about my life on a platform that millions of people have access to. And while to a degree, those things do take a certain level of confidence, what most people don’t take into consideration is that confidence: is not the absence of fear which provides the space for you to do these things; but rather, it is the ability to navigate these situations and do what you want to do even in the midst of fear.
What a lot of people wouldn't know is that just before I go up on stage to host any show: whether big or small, I always get incredibly nervous. You know that sick feeling right in the pit of your stomach? Yeah that’s the one I get every single time! I am indeed, like every human on this planet: I have moments when I doubt myself and question my ability and that’s okay! Just because I am able to step out and do things that are considered intimidating or daunting, it does not mean I am exempt from fear. However, the only difference is my ability to harness those momentary fears or worries and make a decision. Either I let this fear cripple me or I turn this into the adrenalin I need to kill the task set before me... And with time and effort, I have managed to train myself to always do the latter!
Ultimately, I just want you to understand that confidence is not some magical drink that you can buy from the shop, nor is it something that just sprouts out of no-where. Rather, it’s a journey and a process that has personally taken me years to develop; in fact, it's something I'm still developing every single day as I continue to grow in myself and my craft. It's something you have to be intentional about, it's something you have to work on and it certainly is something you have to be willing to dedicate your time to.